I am all cookied out December 3, 2007

This is what I have been up to this weekend.

Photo by Brother Aaron

Now, I did not make as many cookies as my Mom did but I certainly made a butt-load of cookies. As I informed my Mom, I helped out of love for her and not for any great love of baking. We started on Thursday night (I think she started on Wednesday) and she stopped baking at 12:00 p.m. on Sunday. That is a lie, she planned to stop at noon and then her husband asked where the shortbread was and gave a frown when she responded that she had not made any. So she threw in a huge batch of Almond shortbread to boot. (Moms almond shortbread is to die for).

This one is my fav of the year – Pumpkin Chocolate Chip

Photo by Brother Aaron

The Cookie Party is a Scripps Ranch tradition dating back to 1989(ish) and as long as I can remember half of the community and the local Fire Department have attended to consume copious quantities of sugary goodness. This is not your run-of-the-mill sort of cookie party. There is no cookie exchange, no requirement to put in any effort at all. This is not a party where you are expected to bake anything when you get there, you simply show up at the loosely scheduled time and you consume large quantities of scrumptious cookies and booze (or egg nog, apple cider, or all of the above) and help yourself to a huge care package on your way out the door. The cookie party is always held on the first Sunday of December; which has always seemed rather silly to me. I don’t know why anyone would host a party where the premise is cookies & booze on a work night but I did not get a vote on that decision so I attend, I partake in the revelry, and I keep my bitching to a minimum.

After all that work, I am tired and the thought of anything remotely resembling a cookie sounds repulsive to me right now (that is why I have had 3 more cookies this morning, right?). A good time was had by all. As usual, there was standing room only and I drank entirely too much boozy egg nog. Mogo got to bed way after her usual bedtime and woke up cranky as could be. I saw a bunch of Mom’s friends that I have not seen since last year’s cookie party. I could not tell you who most of them were but they know me, and background on me that I would rather they all forget. I recognize their faces though and their children have grown up before my eyes over the years. They all greet me and mine with hugs and well wishes and the occasional unwanted pat on the behind. Some invite their extended family, visiting relatives and closest friends because my Mom has a reputation for opening her door to anyone who knocks. It may be rude but I don’t think my Mom would have it any other way. Of course, it is always too crowded and too loud and it makes my Old Man crazy to be surrounded by so many people at various stages of drunkenness; but man is it ever fun. I look forward to it every year. And every year my Mom swears it will be the last. This year, I think she might actually mean it. What I want to know is, what the hell is she going to do next year when there is no cookie party scheduled but ½ the community shows up on her doorstep anyways?

I think she’s screwed.

She’s too young for this shit… November 28, 2007

So I was taking Mogo to school this morning and she was oh so excited to start her day. As she was jumping out of the car, she caught herself telling me just that and freaked out for a minute. She made me swear to secrecy that she ever mentioned her excitement over going to school. I did a bit of a double take and asked why on earth she would be worried about that. She replied that it just was not cool to like going to school and she did not want anyone to know that she liked it. What the Hell? Mogo is in Kindergarten. Isn’t this a little early to be dealing with that? I mean until at least 4^th grade school is supposed to be fun – right? Kids are supposed to dig it, right? I didn’t think that would happen until middle school!   

So I promised Mogo that it could be our little secret as long as she promised me she would continue to like going to school whether it is cool or not. She agreed and the conversation ended. Is it me? Do you all think Kindergarten is too soon to be worried about that?

A little background into my psyche with regards to education… I loved school. Granted I loved it mostly for the social interaction and I was never particularly good about homework and whatnot but until the 4^th grade I was excited to go. I wanted to learn and I wanted to be smart. Somewhere in there I decided that it was not “cool” to like going to school or to get good grades. I thought that in order for people to like you, you had to be dumber than they were. If you were a girl, you should be stupid and cute. Boys would only like you if you made them feel superior. I worked hard to make my peers think I was an airhead.

It was only after attending an all girl’s high school where the airhead routine was not appreciated that I saw another side of that coin. Here was a school where there was positive peer pressure and academic competition. All of a sudden it was not so cool to be an airhead who smoked and chased boys. I only started to get it then. I didn’t actually get it though. Since I didn’t fit in there, I decided it was them, it was those girls with the 4.0 GPA – those girls who joined the Speech & Debate Club who were un-cool and that I would be happier if I went to school with folks I related with – you know the dumb girls who did not think academics were important. At the all girls school, I was just an airhead and at the new public high school, I was well liked and had lots of friends and a packed social calendar – I was still failing the majority of my classes but I had lots of people I called friends. Well worth it, right? NOT.

So, I did not go to college after High School. I did not even take the SATs. I played house with a drug addict instead. I was a complete train wreck. It took well into my first marriage to decide that it was ok to be smart, clever, and outspoken. I had to work really hard to change my mannerisms from dumb blonde to interesting woman – from mousy and subservient to independent and self assured. On my worst days, I still wonder if what I think is confidant and outspoken it really just bitchy – if I am kidding myself and really I am still just that stupid little blonde girl.

I would give my left tit (and my right one for that matter) for Mogo to never even consider any of those things. I wish I knew how to prevent my kind of train wreck for her. She is too smart for that – to interesting – too creative to let the “dumb girls” change her mind about who she should be and what she should get excited about..

Things are a-o-k November 19, 2007

So, I was sitting on the floor with Mogo on Saturday and we were playing with Lincoln Logs. I have never in my life played with Lincoln Logs. My brother had some if I recall but I believe they were off limits to the pesky little sister. Anyhoo, Mogo and I made a Lincoln Log and Little People neighborhood and we had a blast. We would build houses and knocked them over; first on accident and then just cause it was so darned fun. Then we would laugh and laugh. Great big belly laughs that hurt your side a little. We put her little people furniture in the houses and made little families with all the Little People and sheesh my girl has the most vivid imagination. All the Little People had a back story and they were all family living on the same street. There were little people squabbles and issues about who’s turn it was to make dinner. There was a plot line and funny voices, there were horses doing their horsie things and dogs doing their doggie things. I lost myself in her world. For a minute or 20, I was 5 too.

I don’t remember the last time I got down on the floor with her and just hung out playing pretend with my girl. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the grown up BS and forget that there is this really cool little girl to play with. I take so much for granted sometimes.
I love being 5.

And life begins… July 12, 2007

My Old Man just scored the most awesome job for himself. After years of working opposite schedules and tag team parenting, he will finally be working a 9-5, M-F sort of job like me. I am on Cloud 9! We will finally be in the same place at the same time in the evenings and on weekends. We can go to bed at a reasonable hour and not worry about being too tired to wake up with our little blonde alarm clock day after day. We can now show a more united front to the offspring and there will be far less of the Mommy vs. Daddy wars (you know… “but Daddy lets me!”, or “I like Mommy better” Meh… perhaps I am kidding myself on this one). There will be no more loading Mogo into the car at 11:30 p.m. to go pick up Daddy from work (having just 1 car really sucks). We will have a routine (hurray for routine!!!), we will have a consistent amount in our respective paychecks (Hurray consistency!) every pay period and those paychecks will be bigger to boot! I love it. I am so proud of him. Those who know us personally know that My Old man has traveled a pretty rocky road in his life. He has been doing so much work in the last year or two to clear the wreckage from his past and now he is starting to see the fruit of his labor. That may sound trite but let me just tell you the boy has worked his arse off (no really, I mean it – he really has no ass). So now, the path is getting a little smoother. We have a lot more to do to get where we want to be but for now we are just enjoying the ride. As my Badger would say “we are trudging the road OF happy destiny.” (A non 12-step translation: It is the journey not the destination that matters). We certainly have been trudging too. I will be ready to skip for a mile or two thank you very much (Universe, are you listening?).

On another front… My friend Mel just went through Gastric Bypass surgery and is recovering at home very nicely. She is beginning a whole new life and I am so proud of her for making that leap. I watched my Mom go through the same surgery way back when. They were not doing the laparoscopic surgery then and the recovery process was painful and long. It was so worth it though. If my Mom had not been through that procedure, I don’t think she would have been able to enjoy her Grand-girls as much as she does. She would not be as active and I might have had to contemplate her mortality a lot sooner. I have been thinking about Mel a lot this week but have been too tied up with my own scheduling nightmares to be much of a friend. I know she understands but it will be so nice to have my other half home in the evenings now so that I can get back in touch with a few friendships that I have been neglecting (including my friendship with him).

And on yet another front…

My other BFF Shelly is starting a new chapter in her life as well. She is around the same age as my Mom and she is dating again for the first time in millennia (I kid). She is giddy and smitten and full of life, in a way that I have never seen her. We have been friends for around 15 years or so and I don’t think I have ever seen this incredible woman more dynamic and more contented than she has been. She might as well be a teenager (but with more smarts and life experience under her belt.)

So over all…YEAH for us! Yippie! I propose a toast to new life. For those of you who don’t drink there is some Martinellis behind the counter, help yourself. CLINK!

Edited 7/16/07 to add – Thanks so much for all the well wishes and good thoughts for us! I am in blogger heaven right now.